first...uh...ok
2003-11-26 - 8:04 a.m.

good morning self, I say as i wake up this morning, only to find out that i fell asleep on the couch watching cartoons last night after working like 18 hours yesterday...(whew!!) I am 23, i am engaged to a good man, poor, but good. I work 2 jobs and struggle with anorexia. I have had it since I can remember...always counting calories, diets, running, more calorie counting, more diets...more running.... My fiance is tall and skinny...(i hate him, i hate him!!) he can eat and eat and eat and never gain a pound. But he is very supportive of me and my issues with weight, food.....etc...I really try to hide the most ugly parts of my disorder from him..I guess that's why I work two jobs. I don't want to see him hurt for me. I love him so. I work horses when I'm not at either job or obsessing about what the scale says.

yesterday - tomorrow