GRRRRRRRR
August 10, 2004 - 11:53 pm

I'm wondering exactly why it is that I feel noone gets me. Isn't the whole point of life to grow up and be your own person? when in reality, your only trying to fit in with a certain model that society has set for us? That's how I see it. Life is taken sooo seriously at times when realistically, we're only along for the ride.

Yesterday I had a semi fight with my new boss. She percieves me in the worst way, like I am here to take over her job and that I don't like her...which is totally not true. I don't want her job!! and I told her that. but she insisted that the reason she was hiring a new ASSISTANT MANAGER and why she was dropping my hours was becuase our store is allowed to have 2 assistant managers, (which I don't understand, but ok) but what she really meant to say, and I believe this, was this: i'm hiring a new assistant cause there is something that I don't like about you, i can't put my thumb on it, but i don't like you and I want you gone. that's what I got out of the whole conversation. AND THEN TO FIND OUT: she has been going behind my back and talking to our DM (who and which BOTH OF THEM have never said anything to ME!!! THE FUCKING PARTY INVOLVED) about everything that is going on...(you have to remember that I know none of this is going on because NOONE bothers to LET ME IN ON IT) but i feel as though my manager is creating this whole scene in her head and blowing it way out of proportion and then blaming me for not "fixing" this so called problem. when realistically, how can I fix something that I didn't know was going on? am I going crazy here? So, when she told me that she was hiring a new Assistant manager and cutting my hours to 32 hours a week, i kinda was like...OK, well, I can't live on 32 hours a week, and then she says to me, and I quote: "that's a decision you'll have to make". DOES THIS SOUND LIKE SOMEONE WHO LIKES THIER EMPLOYEES? is this how manager's treat thier employees? So, I bring up to her that I am upset that she is hiring someone else, (not necessarily becuase they will be assisting too, it's becuase i feel that they will be favored over me, and becuase I wasn't trained properly by the last manager WHO FUCKING QUIT on me, basically, I feel as though she wants a new crew, so she's going to run the crew out that she has, until she get's her way) it's more of "what did I do?, why are you doing this?" type of thing. so she explains to me that becuase of my attitude she doesn't feel as though I'm going to stay through christmas, and that basically, i'm goin to try to fuck her when the time comes. OK, #1) LOVE MY JOB. #2) DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HER WHAT-SO-EVER, DON'T EVEN MIND, THAT SHE TREATS ME AND OUR THIRD-KEY LIKE WERE RETARDED AND THAT SHE MICRO-MANAGES. #3)HAVE NO ISSUES WHAT-SO-EVER TAKING ORDERS FROM HER (she says that i have authority problems) I"ve never said anything to her, there were a couple of things I was confused on but we seemed to clear it up last night. then she lays on me, that, now that i've come to her, she's going to have to talk to the DM about this new situation and what's going to be done about it. OK. to me? this sounds as though, she almost had me out the door, and then at the last moment when she called in the calvery and I was like, whoa, what is goin on, should we talk about this, then she pulled back and was like, "OH, well, now i'm going to have to talk to the DM and see what is going to happen, I haven't hired anyone yet, so, we'll just see". WHAT A LOAD OF BULL FUCKING SHIT so, today, work all day with the DM and NOTHING, NOTHING WHAT-SO-EVER IS MENTIONED, of this problem that supposedly is going down, nothing is mentioned to me. WHAT AM I TO THINK? Do I go to the DM and say, hey...this is what went down, and this is what i feel....and this is how I percieved it? DOES THIS SOUND FUCKED UP TO YOU?

yesterday - tomorrow