My Dearest Love
February 04, 2005 - 11:39 pm

Dear Love,

What can I say. We've been through a lot together......sexually speaking. You turned my world upside down and gave me something to live for while I knew you.
I thought that the distance put between us would allow me to grow beyond you. But I haven't. I still love you the same as if I had met you for the first time again.
I am hoping that this letter will let me put to rest my pineing for a love that will never be. As I am bombarded of thoughts of you day and night.
It is hard to live this life now that your not a part of it, you weren't a very big part of it to begin with, but still, you were the most important.
I want you to know that you'll always have a place in my heart where you can do no wrong in my eyes.
Life is pretty much empty. I dove into work and training horses to fill my days of lonliness and sadness. Try as I might though, I can't let you go.
You are there. You are everywhere my heart seeks, you are everywhere my thoughts lie.
I try to forget you. Talk my heart out of loving you, but it does no good. I turn around, and there you are.
You have ruined me for others. This enlightens me and saddens me. For noone will ever live up to what I wished for you to give me and had only imagined what it would be like if you could.
Life is surreal. I float by, go to work, come home, work horses, go to bed. Of course not a moment of my day goes by without me thinking of you, wanting to talk to you, call you, touch you, kiss you, please you. It all seems pointless if you really think about it. You recipricate none of these feelings to me, but yet, I can't talk myself into believing that. I want to though, that's for damn sure.
I want to wake up tomarrow and forget all about you. I want to wake up tomarrow and feel you next to me. I want to wake up next to you for the rest of my life.
It can't get much more raw than that.

I wanted to wish you well in life and everything that comes your way. May you always find joy and happiness with the one you truely love. I won't ask you not to forget about me, as that is not fair to you. But, just know that I love you.

I love you dearest.

yesterday - tomorrow