Valentines Dinner Nightmare
February 11, 2005 - 11:16 pm

I woke up this morning at 6:09am.....LATE LATE LATE.....straightened my hair, got dressed, rather quickly....made it out of the house by some miricle of God by 7ish. Feeling rather sexy in my Tommy Hilfigure skirt that I scored at The Bon Marche for 10 bucks, my favorite black v neck shirt and my cute soft pink slip ons...oh yeah...the ones with the 31/2 in heels....Flowing hair, bright makeup and cute earrings completed this outfit I had sucessfully put together today. I was feeling great.
Got to the gas station, bought my ciggs and my coffee. This is a good day. I only buy coffee and cigs on Fridays...

Parking Gods were loving me today. The walk to work, brisk and loving every minute with my head phones on blasting my favorite music...today it was my favorite techno cd that I had mixed awhile ago while living with the old roomies.
Everyone cheery, the weekend is near. The smell of coffee is beautiful.

Sit down at my desk this morning and even though the line of patients is backing up down to pediatrics, I just keep a smile planted on my face...as if to say, nothing will get me down today. Cause it won't. Today is just too good.
All day it's like this, a line of patients, each more crankier than the next and none ever returning my warm, friendly smile. oh well.

End of the day finally comes and then it hits me....Valentines dinner tonight with mother. OH GOD......at the church no less. OK, I am ok with going to church on tuesday nights...apeasing the Gods..and when I say that I mean, my mother who in some wierd way is yearing to spend more time with me. So I agree to attend "cowboy church" on tuesday nights with her.
I am the only person, who is blatently not thrilled to be there. why I still go is beyond me....only to please her. Well...tonight was the valentines dinner that the church was holding....
Ya know? Valentines day is way overrated...it's a holiday made to torture the single soul...LOL.
So I go, pay 7.50 to get in (mind you, I'm on a budget and only get 20 bucks a week for spending money...and yes, that includes ciggs!!) to what was conveyed to be a dinner with theater type sort of thing.
ALLRIGHT. for one, there was no dinner....only dessert...and for 2 no theater..only an Elvis impersonater....need I say more? LOL. I am the youngest person in the room...listening to the Elvis impersonator...someone shoot me!! LOL. here is my life in a nutshell at this moment:

I am sitting amongst all these god fearing people.......I am involved in an activity I'm sure these people all damn within the confines of thier homes, I am coveting anothers husband, I don't really care for church and i'm sure it shows...LOL, amongst other things it's obvious I don't belong here. LOL.

Then they open the dance floor...everyone has a dance partner but me...well...everyone is older than me..LOL. so once again, I am 14, I am the fat girl in the corner at all the dances and I am reminded of just how different I really am.

Onto tomarrow.

yesterday - tomorrow