Day One
April 10, 2010 - 9:27 pm

I can't believe you actually left. I mean, I knew it was coming....and I feel strangly close to you right now, but your so far away...I feel you everywhere in my room, in my bones, in my blood. I feel you, but I can't see you. Your side of the bed is so empty...I can't even find the energy to clean what little mess there is, I'm afraid that it would completely erase what memory is left of you from this morning. I am afraid of forgetting you, even though I think that is impossible, how can I forget you? You are Me. I am You. We are Us, and We are not That couple. I have to believe this or I won't get through this. You say it's 6 or 7 weeks and you'll be back for a few to visit and then back home again. Everytime you leave it rips a piece of my soul out. I am left sort of lifeless. I can already feel the depression setting in, I took more medication then I normally do tonight to see if it makes a difference, if it does, at least I'll be able to function normally while going through the motions, because for awhile that's all it's going to be, is going through the motions, biding my time, waiting for you to come home back to me. I miss you.

yesterday - tomorrow